It was evening on a Tuesday. I know it was Tuesday because I was in the middle of a Zoom call when I heard the crinkling. That specific crinkling sound of a chocolate bar wrapper being slowly, deliberately destroyed by a dog who knows exactly what she is doing.
Biscuit had found the Halloween candy. The good stuff — the mini Snickers bars I had hidden in the cabinet above the fridge. Or so I thought. Turns out Beagles can reach higher than you think when motivated by chocolate. I had no idea she could open cabinets. I still do not know how she did it. Maybe she has thumbs. I have not checked.
Wait, I need to back up. I am bad at telling stories in order. Let me start over. The candy was in the cabinet above the fridge. I put it there because I thought it was safe. I was wrong about that, and I am wrong about a lot of things. That is just how my life goes.
The Discovery
I found her on teh couch, surrounded by foil wrappers. Yes, I wrote "teh." I am leaving it. It is 1am and I am tired and my hands are shaking a little bit still, even though this happened three weeks ago., looking extremely pleased with herself. There were at least four empty wrappers. Maybe five. I was not counting clearly because my brain had already shifted into panic mode.
Chocolate is toxic to dogs. Everyone knows this. But how toxic? I had no idea. I knew dark chocolate was worse than milk chocolate. I knew it depended on the dog's weight. But I did not know the numbers. I did not have a chart memorized. I just knew: my dog ate chocolate and I need to do something right now.
The Google Spiral
I typed "my dog ate chocolate what do I do" into Google. The first result said "call your vet immediately." The second result was a chocolate toxicity calculator. I used it while simultaneously trying to find my vet's emergency number. I was not doing either task well. My hands were shaking a little.
Biscuit weighs about 11kg. She ate roughly 100g of milk chocolate (four mini Snickers). The calculator said: mild to moderate toxicity risk. Not "she is going to die" but also not "she will be fine." The calculator recommended monitoring for symptoms and calling a vet if any appeared.
I called the emergency vet anyway. Because I am not a vet. And because Biscuit is my dog and I was not going to gamble.
The Emergency Vet
The vet tech who answered was calm. Too calm. Like she had answered this exact call a thousand times. She asked what kind of chocolate, how much, when did she eat it, any symptoms yet.
Milk chocolate. About 100g. Maybe 10 minutes ago. No symptoms yet — but it had only been 10 minutes.
The vet tech said: "Bring her in. We will induce vomiting and monitor her. Better safe than sorry."
The Car Ride
Biscuit was fine. I was not fine. She sat in the passenger seat looking out the window like this was a normal Tuesday evening drive. I was gripping the steering wheel so hard my knuckles were white, running every worst-case scenario in my head.
What if she had eaten more than I thought? What if there was dark chocolate mixed in? What if the calculator was wrong? What if —
"Stop," I told myself out loud. Biscuit looked at me. I think she judged me. Beagles are judgmental dogs.
The Vet Clinic
The vet induced vomiting with hydrogen peroxide. It worked. Biscuit produced a surprising amount of chocolate-colored vomit. The vet examined it and estimated she had gotten most of it up. "Good timing," she said. "Within 30 minutes is ideal."
They gave her activated charcoal to absorb any remaining toxins. They checked her heart rate (elevated but within normal range for a stressed dog). They kept her for two hours of observation.
By late evening, Biscuit was cleared to go home. The vet said to watch for vomiting, diarrhea, restlessness, or seizures over the next 24 hours. If any of those appeared, come back immediately.
The Next 24 Hours
I did not sleep. I checked on Biscuit every hour. She slept fine. She ate breakfast the next morning. She was completely normal. The only lasting effect was that she now knows what chocolate smells like and will investigate any crinkling sound with extreme prejudice.
What I Learned
Chocolate toxicity depends on three things: the type of chocolate, the amount, and the dog's weight. Dark chocolate and baking chocolate are far more dangerous than milk chocolate. A small dog eating a little dark chocolate is an emergency. A large dog eating a little milk chocolate might just have an upset stomach.
But here is the thing: I did not know any of this until it happened. I had heard "chocolate is bad for dogs" my whole life, but I never bothered to learn the details. That was stupid. Do not be like me.
Now I keep all candy above 5 feet. In a locked container. Behind a closed door. Biscuit has proven she can open cabinets, so we added child locks. She is basically a toddler with a better sense of smell.
The Zoom call I was in when this happened? I just said "family emergency" and hung up. No one questioned it. I think "my dog ate chocolate" is a universally accepted excuse for leaving a meeting. I hope it is, anyway. I have used it twice since then. Both times were true. I think.
Anyway, Biscuit is fine. She is sleeping on my feet right now, snoring. I should probably go to bed too. I have been writing this for two hours and I have work tomorrow. Or today. I do not know what time it is anymore.